Rebirth
**this can be triggering for some and full disclosure; this was what was best for me and my family. Sharing my experience only.
**Special thanks to Sam Daugherty for helping through my healing process. It is traumatic to loose your breasts and all that comes along with cancer and I appreciate you for your photography.
On 11.20.2020, I received a call from my doctor that would change my life forever. I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer at the age of 42. I have the BRAC1 gene, and have been told since that diagnosis in 2012, that I was at high risk for breast cancer and would likely get it, that I could get my breasts cut off prophylactically. That to me felt barbaric, to cut off my mammary glands when I was not ready to give up on having babies (yes I could use formula, but just the mere thought of not having a choice). But some felt I was stupid for not making this choice. I did not have it yet, I wanted to see if my wellness practices and life choices could possibly change this outcome that was projected for me. Fast forward several years later, 2 more kids later and life later, I was diagnosed with what I was told was inevitable. It took me all weekend to tell my family. I felt like I was such a disappointment because now they had to watch me suffer. After the weekend and confirming a couple days after that I do in fact have a cancer that would take an aggressive approach and did not have time to wait. So I called my family and disappointed them and then dove into what would help me heal. I researched hard, looking for alternatives to chemo, plant medicine, etc. I was able to supplement the medical industries recommendations with healing modalities that would support my health and mental wellbeing during treatment. Now did these wellness practices prevent the inevitable? No. But what they did do is provide me with the tools to support my body, mind and family for the best outcome possible, for me. From mushrooms, to burdock root, to dandelion, juicing, to anti inflammatory diet, to resting, to being able receiving all the help that was offered to me, to release the parts of me that were not serving me, a metaphoric death and metamorphosis. It was hard. But I had a lot of support.
As I look at these photos, it is a symbol and celebration of the death of the old me. The one that helped others before helping herself and family, the one that doubted herself, that feared disappointing others, that did not think she had what it took to create more than what she already had. To put what brings my soul to life first. The children that chose my husband and I to nurture them. Not feeling pressured to do everything out of obligation.
Thank you to all of the friends and family that came to our rescue during these times. Who instilled awareness where it was needed, even the ones who left when I was at my weakest…to each and everyone of you, thank you! I am better because of it and I thank this experience and this life.
I leave you with one question: What would make it possible for your wildest dreams to come true? Ask and you shall receive. Since I have survived cancer, I have left corporate America and am able to be with my kids full time, homeschooling and choosing what makes me happy and following that, not all of the confusion or the differences in opinions, but what I am here on earth to do. Focus on that dear one, you are creative expansive light and are here to do just that, create!!
